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At first you're like wow! And everyone loves it. Then your like, hey that's my car! TEach me how to do that! ONly thing is, he can't teach me what he can do. So after awhile you think well its a shame to have thsi awesome car sitting in the garage. Let him drive it! Must be hard to watch, seeing great potential go unfulfilled, seeing her hold herself back, etc.
BUT, that's not something you can do for her, unfortunately. Do you think her reliance on you is part of what is holding her back? It's very easy to get lulled into a comfortable situation, and any action can seem terrifying. You pay the bills, work, have grand plans for, that's a lot of pressure to live up to, and could seem unattainable to her. A lot of people get comfortable relying on others and that 'kick in the ass' be you two breaking up.
I don't think it's unreasonable to break up with someone because you are in different place, have different short and term goals, or have incompatible drives. It sounds like you guys have all of those. It be a kindness to her to set her free, let her spread her own two wings. Very few things as scary and fulfilling of complete independence, and personally I think everyone should experience it at some point. Be honest, be kind you're clock is ticking, you need to know if this is THE relationship, but you have worries.
Ask her what she wants, what she sees down the road, what success would look like for her in work, family, etc. Write down your term goals both as a couple and as individuals. Work backwards, break them into manageable pieces and assign who does what and due dates, and measurable outcomes to track success. It's really overwhelming to tackle the big pieces of life, and there is always a reason to put it off another day.
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